AN ONLY CHILD When I was a baby living in Blackpool, my mother left me with my Father and took my older sister to live in America- as he was domestically abusive toward my mom. I will never understand why I was left with such a monster or why a mother wouldn't want to take her baby with her but I do know one thing- the decision she made changed my life forever. So, throughout my childhood, I was an only child.
There was never ANY contact of any sort with my mom, her family or my older sister, since being a baby until I was 12/13. She never tried to reach out to me, call me or anything, She knew nothing about me- I must have been a burden to her and her new life...
It was just me and my Father and whenever I would bring her up (as a little girl I pined for my mom, I just wanted her by my side/ to help me, to just talk to me), I was told to call her by her name- I never knew her as 'mom' it was always 'Michelle.' Infact, I was so used to referring to her by her name, that I struggled to say the word 'mom'. Just saying it always created that small lump at the back of my throat. I would always hate when other kids spoke about their mothers and then always ask me 'where is yours?' That was the number one question I was asked growing up- to which my reply was always, 'she abandoned me.'
Finally when I reached 12/13, I was placed into Foster care- due to allegations made against my dad- and after being in the care system for a year, I finally tracked down my family in America on FB and made contact with my mother. After the first contact, a few months down the line, I was taken to Las Vegas, Nevada and placed into her care.

At the age of 18- after nearly 5 years- I came back to live in England- as the relationship with her became very strained and we stopped speaking...

22 July 2022

Living With BPD

BPD2 v2

18 March 2022



18 March 2022



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